JOURNALING

The Pen is the Mightiest Weapon of All!

For Mother’s Day, 2017, my daughter gave me the book, The Artists Way, by Julia Cameron.  Cameron suggests starting each morning with what she calls “morning pages” as a way to harness creativity.  She claims that morning pages are a pathway to a strong and clear sense of self.  She writes, “Anyone who faithfully writes morning pages will be led to a connection with a source of wisdom within.” 

Given my daughter’s enthusiasm for this book and this practice, I decided to give it a try, even though I’m not an artist and never set out to be one.  I decided, instead, to use journaling as a sort of therapy for myself.  I had never really been a journal/diary writer.  In fact, before I started this practice, I was somewhat against it.  I felt that if I complained about something in my life, especially in writing, I would create more of the unwanted circumstance.

Nevertheless, the idea of bringing in a stronger sense of self and the possibility of becoming more creative in the process was appealing enough for me to give it a try.  I didn’t know at the time how big of a role this practice would play in me being able to completely change my life.

During my first few weeks of writing morning pages, I really enjoyed my new routine.  I faced each morning with a cup of coffee, my pen and notebook. I devoted this time to myself with the goal of becoming a better version of myself. 

One of the first things I noticed within those first few weeks was that my vocabulary became stronger.  I didn’t fumble over the correct choice of words like I used to.  My speech became wittier, and I was able to draw connections between concepts easier.  I specifically remember being able to pull in different song lyrics to match different situations that occurred during my day.

As I noticed these changes within myself, I documented them in my morning pages.  This is when I realized the power that this tool affords.  The more I wrote about positive changes within myself, the more I was able to cement these changes into my reality permanently.  I noticed I was becoming much more confident, as my prose and humor got a boost. 

Another benefit of my morning pages was the release I found in getting the random ramblings of my consciousness down on paper.  I noticed I didn’t feel the same need to disclose all that was occurring in my thoughts to my husband.  My journal became a trusted friend whom I could surrender my arbitrary moments to.  In so doing, I began to find the stronger sense of self Julia Cameron promised. 

My first weeks of morning pages had a pretty positive tone, but eventually I came to a place where I didn’t always feel optimistic.  I remember wondering if I should document the negative experiences as well.  Am I just going to experience more of them if I do?  Ultimately, I did write about things I wished to change in my life.  But instead of making the problems expand, I noticed I was able to get clear about what really needed changing.  By writing down the negative, I was able to move past the hurdle quicker in my life.  Maybe this had to do with a release of some sort, or maybe having the problem identified in writing gave solace to my subconscious mind that the matter was going to be dealt with.  In the Artist’s Way, Cameron says, “It is very difficult to complain about a situation morning after morning, month after month, without being moved to constructive action.  The pages lead us out of despair and into undreamed-of solutions.”

One of my biggest hurdles in my life at the time was a drinking problem.  Some mornings I dragged my hungover self to my notebook and wrote in a shaky hand how mortified I was at my behavior the night before.  I believe that in doing this, I put out the call for my higher self to step in and help me with this problem.  By taking the time to write each morning, I must have shown my intent to really get serious about changing my life.  I imagined my higher self breathing a sigh of relief and saying, “Thank God, she’s finally ready.”

I won’t go into my full sobriety story in this post, but I will say that my morning pages were absolutely pivotal in my being able finally get free from alcohol’s clutches, which was something I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to do.  I knew I was being guided to quit, and in so doing, I opened myself up to the beginning of my awakening.

After about nine months of daily writing, my pages took on a new tone.  As I followed my guidance to quit drinking, I found my life open in ways I never expected.  I began having very intense psychic dreams and spiritual phenomena occur in my life.  I’ve heard that drinking can block you from your spiritual gifts.  Being a heavy drinker my whole adult life (excluding pregnancies), I never even knew I had spiritual gifts. 

Armed with my pen and paper each morning, I had a new clarity in life.  Some mornings I felt as though a benevolent force took over and steered my writing in a way that would produce the greatest outcome in my life.  Was I channeling my guides or higher self? I believe so.  I became a completely different person within the first year of devoting my mornings to this practice. 

Writing morning pages can be a very potent tool for manifesting.  Every so often I would use my morning journaling time to create wish lists.  I wrote about all of the changes that I wished to see in my life, mostly how I wanted to feel, and what I wanted to experience.  I became amazed at the way life unfolded in bringing me many of these requests through the months and years ahead.  I believe I was able to bring in many of these changes because they were in alignment with my path, and I always kept the higher good of all involved in mind.

In the spring of 2018, while going through a bit of a boring time in my life, I specifically remember asking the universe to bring me something exciting to write about.  I didn’t have anything specific in mind, but my higher self did.  Within 9 months of that request, I had what I believe to have been a full kundalini awakening that completely transformed my life.

Although this awakening was incredibly jarring and intense, I believe it was necessary to propel me to higher states of consciousness I experience today.  I believe this was part of a divine plan as our planet shifts into higher states of consciousness in the coming years.  Luckily, I have my entire awakening documented in about 18 spiral notebooks.  I realize I’m going to need to change my format of writing my morning pages if I’m going to live to an old age.  I don’t think my kids will want to inherit boxes and boxes of morning pages.  But as of now, I haven’t been able to put the pen down.  I don’t write everyday anymore, but the practice of writing my morning pages has become so entrenched and dear to my life, that quitting isn’t something I’m ready to consider.  That Mother’s Day 2017 gift would end up being the best gift I ever received!

Questions and Tips for Successful Journaling:

What do I write about?

-Julia Cameron suggests doing a free-style type writing where you jot down whatever comes to your mind.  Most of the time, I followed this instruction, but I also found it extremely helpful to boost whatever positive qualities I found throughout my days.  For example, did you experience any energetic support or grace in your day?  Write it down.  Did you experience any behavior or quality that made you proud of yourself?  Write it down.  Did you notice a pattern or cycle that you were able to shift?  Write it down.  (For more information on patterns and cycles, see my blog post titled, “Changing Undesirable Patterns into Positive Experiences.”)

How much should I write?

-I followed Cameron’s guidelines of writing at least three pages every day.  Some days it was hard to come up with three pages, and other days I felt the need and desire to write a novel.  I suggest going with the flow and following what feels right to you.

Does it have to be morning time?

-I believe mornings are best.  This may be due to the alpha state we are in first thing in the morning.  I believe we have greater access to our subconscious minds during this state which will help in writing down the most pertinent information as well as integrating the qualities we are trying boost.  I also found that mornings offer the benefit of being able to recall and document any dream I had the night before that had an important message.  If mornings are not possible, writing during a different time of day is better than not writing at all.